Just came back from a jog after a long break from physical activities. It was suppose to be a "take it easy" jog to get into the groove again. But it was anything but easy. As I began to struggle for air barely 300m into the run, it hit me, the feeling of augish. Guilt and remorse took over. I can't believe it! Everytime I am alone this has to happen. On a subconcious level, I preoccupied myself with so much things just to block out the loss of my dear mum. But I guess it just make matter worse by bottling up all those sorrow and guilt. I am used to sheding tears now although I don't do it in openly...
I'm glad that I have this blog, otherwise I don't know who I can turn to....
3 comments :
I can never fit my ideas into a working paragraph but I'd like to share some of my thought.
Guilt rules us all, sometime it can torment us, while other times it just stares back.
Jogging is a good idea to keep the body busy, but it leave the mind open to think of what ever.
The arcade maybe filled with lights and noise, but it is the quietest place I can think of.
Build happy memories from sad ones, try to make a dish that your mom and make it for someone special.
Thanks for your comforting words... It warms my heart. Memories are all I have now, be it good or bad, there are lessons to learn, things to understand. Will try to make my mum's specialty bee hoon, I always wanted to... I really miss it...
Stay strong ya.. I'm sure your love ones will hope the same. Be well.
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