Sunday, July 20, 2008

My apologies

It has been quite a while since my last entry. Fact is, I have nothing to comment or show recently. I wanted to start on a new kit right after the GN Arms Type D. But just not in the right mind to do just yet.
Looking back, this year must have been one of the worst years of my life. Lost my mum, overwhelming work load, illness and losing the motivation of do gunpla. When everything is starting to look rosy, it has to come to an abrupt end. Right now, I am perpetually tired. Sometimes, I really hope that time can go forward faster. So I can fulfill all my duties as a husband, father and friend and go and "die". How many days must I endure before I could see her? Of course, that's wishful thinking on my part.
I realised that a lot of people out there has been helping me cope and for that, I thank them. I will move on of course but these things takes time. People might see me as a wimp and I guess they could be right too.
For those of you who may be disappointed with my works so far ( I have nothing to show for this year). My sincere apologies to you all. All I can do is to promise that I will continue to build gundams. But for this year, I'm taking my foot off the pedel for awhile. There are lots of issues for me to resolve first.
Once I return, do rest assure I will really "whack" those gundams big time.
So once again, my apologies for the lack of new or better works. I will work on it soon....

12 comments :

Your work was always great. But are you depressed? i was hoping after your last entry you are starting to come around. You know that if time flies faster you will never be able to do the things that you say will do "be good dad, husband and friend". I always wish that time isn't so fast, when you look back its always a flash isn't it? What is most important is NOW, then FUTURE, the past is always a learning experience.

Death is the easy way out. the toughest part is staying alive - we should treasure what we have now, so we don't live with regret. You are regreting tings that you haven't done or should have done in the past, but you cannot change that. but you can change and control what happens NOW and in the FUTURE. Your passion for gundams is your hobby, so you should commit to more important things like family. Job is exactly that - a job. Put food on the table. Gundam is passion for you. Family is love and commitment.

Don't stress yourself out with "having to produce", work without heart will never be your best work.

I've never met you before, initially the gundam on your page drew me to it, but I am worried about you and your condition - and plenty of people who have written in with words of support as well, so it's not all doom and gloom! Your mum sure does not want to see you like this, she wants you to be happy.

You really need to take care, all the best. Your family and friends will worry most about you. We will wait for your best work - can take decades, but I know it's coming :)

Thanks a lot bro! Like everyone, I'm still learning about life. I have realised that all the negativity I generated was actually doing a lot of harm. But I always believe time will heal everything. My time will come. But before that, there's too many things for me to accomplish. It's sort of childish of me for wanting to "die" and see her. I guess it's only natural.

Gundam is not my passion anymore, it has become my life, even my family have to accommodate me :) I do not know where this will lead. But if your passion is also your job, that would be nice, isn't it? Nevertheless, There is room for improvement and there is not a day I am not learning new things. That's the fun part of it.

Different priority in life take precedence at different points in Life.

Family is the MOST important to anyone lives.

Plastic can wait.

Strive On! :)

you've got nothing to apologize about.

it's never a mistake to re-evaluate our lives. our priorities. and the choices we made.

Yes I agree with you, totally. Plastic can wait. But somehow I feel that viewers will be a bit disappointed seeing lesser works and I would love to inspire others with my works whenever I can. It really gives me a sense of achievement and at the same time, contenment.

No worry man. Since gunpla has become part of your life, then the more you should know when to work on or not. Take your time, the pace is yours. There are many more things in life as well, so move on. =)

Hey Dennis,

It's true that there are many things I need to do. And I am looking forward to the day I could do gundams full time!

Friend. I read through your blog, I see signs of depression. In Singapore, mental health is often neglected. I would suggest that you seek help.

Oh yes! I was depressed. And recovery will take some time. Help? Maybe a good whole body massage would help... :)

Hey I have been ghosting your blog on and off and your depressing mood really provoked a reply mostly because my dad passed away on my last holiday from University (And the other i can't stand to see people sad) and provoked alot of changes which caused me to move from the life I had leaving the few good friends I had but there is always something that has got me through it that my dad would agree with.

You got one life and its yours it belongs to no one else but you. You choose what you spend it on, live your life the way that makes you happy because every parent loves to see their child happy so when you see her again make sure your legacy is something your proud and happy with because you wouldn't want to tell her you had regrets

wishing much hope and tranquility
~Saka

PS Kampfer is epic wanted to say that before I returned to my ghosting ways

Dear Saka,

Thanks for the timely reminder. To be frank, I can't help it. Whether it is self-pitness or the pain of losing a love one, I can differentiate anymore. However, it seems like I have finally accepted that my mum is no longer here. I got to bite the bullet and move on. It pretty hard to manage or control my emotions nowadays. But gradally things will get better.

Since the day she moved on, my perceptions of life has changed. I learn to appreciate family ties, to express my feelings for others more willingly, to accept new respeonsibilities.I feel that there are so much things to do in life, to explore and to experience. Why deprive myself and sulk for life? I am beginning to think that this new prespective is her final gift to me.

I am really sorry to hear about your dad, I feel for you bro. And I am pretty sure he is happy to see that you are coping well. I do.

Lastly, I am glad you like Kampfer. It was my most satisfying work so far and I am not sure whether I could better this one. I will continue to challenge myself... Into gunpla? If yes, quit ghosting around and "do some plastic!" :)


I wish you a happy life bro.

I build and i want to get into modding but I like the resources for a compressor becaause i can get a airbrush for $35. So maybe if I ditch my craving for Armored Core FA and dump the money saving for the xbox. If i do you will be the first to know bro.

Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
—G. K. Chesterton

~Saka

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