CHOICES...

"GET A LIFE" Yeah, you heard it. I'm beginning to ponder have I devoted too much time and energy for this hobby? And after 10 years, I am beginning to wonder, "what did I achieve?" Well, I wasn't really aiming for anything when I started out,  it's purely enjoyment and it keeps me sane in this crazy city life.

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Time to move... (and after thoughts?)

With everything done and dusted, I thought it’s time to move on to the next phase. Next year will be a really busy one for me. I am actually looking forward to finish the Zoids Shadow Fox but have to put it on hold since I have two long outstanding commissions to complete. It won’t be nice to let my customers wait for too long.

First off, a Perfect Grade Strike Gundam complete with all three Striker Systems. Although I have the 1/60 scale non grade weapon systems, their details and forms are too crude for a Perfect Grade Gundam. So I need to do an upgrade for the Sword Strike and Launcher Strike sets. It will be a challenge for me indeed. Throw in a mega sized maintenance base and the Aile Grasper, you can imagine this is one huge project.

Found this picture on the net but couldn't trace the source. 

Another amazing work by a Japanese modeler (I assumed) 

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Pros vs Hobbyists mentality

Following the coverage of S'pore's 2012 GBWC and discussions with fellow modelers, I noticed that there has been a lot of buzz regarding the mega builds and how everyone is going BIG this year. It's all been fun to read, but there is one debate that I have came across, that I feel I have to address - Mainly, some people saying that mega builds are by the "pros" who have the money to buy multiple kits and just bash every part they have together to make some humongous monster. And that supposedly kills the competition for hobbyists in the process. I would like to add my two cents worth on it:- 

• Firstly, there is no such thing as a distinction between "pros" and "hobbyists", especially in Singapore. All pros are hobbyists. But maybe not all hobbyists are pros. How do you become a pro then? Stick to the hobby and improve. When you reach a particular level some day, it doesn't matter if you churn out a humongous piece of work or a tiny little 144 scale kit. People WILL see you are a pro.

• Granted, to build a "monster" kit, you do need to invest some money. But here's the thing - if I gave a beginner the same amount of money a so-called "pro" used to build his mega kit, is that person able to come up with something of the same calibre or better? You should know better. So a lot of money might mean a mega build, but does not necessarily mean it's a good one.

• Which brings me to the last point - Some people have been seeing pictures of the mega builds and dismissing them as "messy", "fail", "can't see anything" etc etc. This might be true for some big builds, but not all. I think the tendency to simply dismiss a build just cos it's big might be due to the bias-ness mentioned in the above two points - the accusation that these modellers are simply richer guys who whack everything into a monster kit.

At the end of the day, it's simple - your quality and creativity never lies. It's not about money or size of build. Just down to skill level. 

While I can go on and on about this for the rest of the night, I believe it is more productive to continue working on my next project and start leveling up. 

I suggest you do so too. 

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Happy Mothers' Day, mum..

All I can give you are roses.That is the only thing I can do... 

Every year this day, I am always moody. Because I have been missing someone. I decided to pay her a visit with both my kids. I bet that she misses them. I miss her too. Almost five years have passed since she moved on, but it still feel like yesterday. Some days I wake up, feeling a void in my heart. I dread that. I hate it. But you know, you can't help it. Gradually I will learn to overcome it. Clinging on desperately to my memories of her, I hope that they don't fade with time like those old photos. Deep down, I have been blaming myself not doing more for her. But I acknowledge that nothing I do is ever enough. The feeling of helplessness is suffocating. I guess this is Life.

Well, since my sister came as well. I thought we could have a photo shoot for the two little princesses. I believed "she" was there just now watching over us. Hopefully, many many years from now, I will be able to see her again... 

To all of you, if you like your mum, love her, if you love her, love her even more. Don't ever hold back... 

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Gundam Front Tokyo (Odaiba, Japan)

I was surfing at Gundam Guy  and saw his post on Gundam Front Tokyo at Odaiba, Japan. I was there a month ago but the site was not open to public yet. What a shame! Anyway,  saw this you-tube video by darwinfish105 and I just have to share with you guys! Damn cool.... 

I AM DEFINITELY GOING THERE AGAIN!!! 

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Steal like an Artist!

I was feeling bored today. Taking a self imposed short break before the next build, I headed down to a local book store hoping to find some interesting reads. And what do you know? I was in luck. While scanning the shelves, this book caught my eye. 

Tucked in one corner, this palm sized book with black cover titled simply,  "Steal like an Artist". " A very intriguing title", I thought. I flipped through a few pages and was immediately sold. Bought it and read the book while I walked home. 

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It's raining again...

Today is my mum's death anniversary. I woke up early as my family were planning to pray at the temple. I looked out of the window and the weather, gloomy, just like last year. It's certainly a reflection of my mood.

By the time I reached the temple, it was raining cats and dogs. Standing in the rain, I looked up at the heavens expecting an answer. "Why?" I asked. Why make me go through all this? The wind felt like ice, so cold it hurts. No answer, nothing. Just the wind howling.

It is so unreal. Like a sad movie that keeps on playing, and I am in it. Four years. Time has done little to heal the pain. I looked at my sister and I know that she is going through the same thing. Both of us want some answers, maybe some comfort or maybe ,just want to be with her again. It's good to be caught in the rain. At least she can't see my tears. I noticed that her eyes were red too.  

I shared this song with my sister a few days ago. I thought the lyrics are very meaningful and touching. A very nice song.... 

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An abandoned project

In case some of you might be wondering what you saw on my previous post "Questions to be answered post", I managed to salvage some pictures of a project I abandoned when it was announced that our mid year competition was integrated into Gunpla Builders World Cup 2011. It was supposed to be a GN-X variation. A targeting system attached to its head and equipped with a sniper weapon. But with the O face off with DC23 looming and the competition  integration, I have but  no choice to forgo this one. Well, enough of excuses, here are the only few pictures I found in my camera. Unfortunately, I reformatted my SD card and most of the photos were erased. 

I might revived this one in the future but for now, I have my hands full :) 

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MAC Anniversary 2011 party

So this is it, tomorrow the team of Poison Monkeys will be going to Philippines for the first MAC Anniversary party! Izakku, Waylander, Edmund (Hobbymate) and me will be meeting the team at MAC forums and the man himself, DC23! Nothing beats meeting face-to-face, we have lots of ideas and techniques to discuss, share and learn together! This is going to be a blast! 

See you guys soon! 

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This month...

You know, when I was younger, I used to dread the seventh month which is also known to many as the Ghost Festival. This festival is celebrated by all Chinese in many countries. It is widely believed that ghosts and spirits are allowed to roam freely for this month. The deceased will visit the living. During this month, Hell money and food among other stuff were offered to these wandering spirits. Chinese operas and "Getais" (like a concert) will be performed to entertain these spirits. Chinese temples will be abuzz with activities. 

I could still remember my mum would diligently preparing the offerings before the festival and gave my a lecture on what not to do during this month. Things like stepping on offering on pavements, spitting, swearing is a no-go. The list goes on. To me, this month means I had to be extra careful when I am out. The usual route you take going home suddenly looked sinister. Shadows start  to play tricks on your eyes. It's like the situation is constantly tingling with anticipation and adventure. Yup that's me when I was very young. And with incense and joss paper burning, the whole neighborhood looks gloomy and eerie (fun). 

Fast forward 15 years to today, things have changed. Our society becomes more affluent and such customs  are not practiced anymore. Burning joss paper and other related customs are frown upon. 

You know, I really miss those days. Where my mum will be on "high alert" and constantly fussing over my nonchalant attitude. Yes I enjoyed the attention :) 

It saddens me that She is not with me anymore. I really miss her. Crazy as it sounds, but if this is the month she can visit me, I sincerely hope she does. I wish that I can see her again. Four years since she passed on, and there is not a single day I am not thinking of her, tears are meaningless to me now. If you ask me, I would probably do anything just to see her one more time. 

Meeting a ghost? Nothing much to worry really. After all, the living can cause more harm than the dead... .

Kenny 

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New Boss in town!

Our newest member, Gorilla Jack!!! 

Just for LAUGHS

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Questions to be answered

????

Every now and then, I have friendly folks coming up to me and ask how I manage my hobby. I thought I could share some of my insights on some of the common questions raised. And here they are as appended:-

Q: You do have a day job and you still need to work on your model at night. How do you do it?

A: One word, "Passion". It is the passion for Gundams that keeps me going. It is this passion that continues to drive me into learning/experimenting new things. And it is this very passion that allows me to survive with just three hours of sleep every day without side effects. Or maybe I spoke too soon.... :)

Q: Project after project and there seems to be no end to it. Don't you get tired and want to be free from all this? 

A: That would be a very odd way of looking at it. When you are doing something you love, you shouldn't feel being tied down by it. Of course unless you think it is a waste of time. Do you? Eventually I will have to move on. But it would be into other aspects of modeling  of course. You can never stray away from your passion.

Q: I got some completed models and would appreciate if you can give me some constructive comments? 

A: Of course I will. In the past, I used to hold back my comments because I do not want to create negativity. But now, I rather be the bad guy and give comments that will help improve the modeler.

Many years ago, I remember seeing a HG Kshatriya with horribly done panel lines. It seemed like freehand drawing to me. And the lines were not sanded down at all. I did asked why and was taken aback by the modeler's half-baked excuse. I should have been more critical with him but I let it pass instead. I sure hope that guy can do proper panel line now.

Q: I see you a lot at Hobby Art Gallery. You are one of the owners? 

A: To put the record straight once and for all,  I don't owe this shop nor am I a shareholder. Hobby Art Gallery (HAG) is like a second home and the people there are family to me. You can say I grew up with them. Special thanks to Joyce, Sam and Leon, who helped me a lot over the years.

Q: Last question, your wife does not object to your hobby!? 

A: For your information, my WIFE is my quality control inspector. She can spot poor panel lines, misaligned decals, uneven paint surfaces faster than I say "Gundam". She also gives me opinions on colour scheme and modifications. Sometimes she even help me  devise strategies for competitions! And you know what's the best part? She is TOTALLY alright with my compulsive hoarding!

Toymaker

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A little comfort..

Today is a special day. No, it has nothing to do with the results of the General Election in my country. It's even more important than that. It's Mother's day.

Not that I can celebrate this day with her, for she took permanent leave to rest. But today and for many years to come, I will wish her Happy Mothers' Day.

"I owe her" and I can't repay her. There is nothing much  I can do but to accept it. "That's life". Yes, it's harsh, cold and cruel. But, "That's life".

I was brought back to 1990, I was eleven. It was about noon and school has finally finished. I was playing with a few friends when we got into an argument over some childish reasons. But one of them decided to throw an insult about my mum.

I went berserk. I could have beat that jerk to pulp if I could. But before anything could happen, someone pulled me away almost immediately. I looked up irritated and she was looking down at me. "There you go again." I had none of it. I started spewing vulgarities at that bunch as she pulled me towards the gate. 

On the way back, I keep asking her why she pulled me away or else I could have trash them. To which she asked, "didn't you just scold their mums as well?" That answer stumped me for awhile. "They started it first, I was trying to protect you.." 

"That is no excuse for you to go insulting other people's mothers, that makes you no different from them." 

"Well, I...I...." (kept quiet) 

It was a valuable lesson. My temper has always been my bane. It usually takes me less than a split second to erupt like a volcano. Most of my friends knows it, some even dreads it. And my mum has been by my side "cooling" me down all these years. Well, I am the chip of the old block. 

Today, I held on to the carnation I bought for her specially. I seldom buy her flowers because I thought they were pointless but not anymore. I told her I miss her and miss her a lot. I thanked her for standing by me all these years and sacrificing herself for the family. "Because of  you, I am forever in debt."   

"After my job is done, I will find you whatever it takes,where ever it takes me, no matter how long, I will FIND you." I promise her that today. 

To all you guys out there, if you have not, do it today. Tell your mum you love her, and thank her for all that she has done. I did not get to but at least you guys have a chance... 

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A good cause

All of you all should know what happened to Japan recently. Hit by a 9.0 magnitude earthquake and then ravaged by the tsunami, they are now coping with the risk of radiation from the nuclear reactors. For most of them, life can never be the same. 

Here, we feel for them and want to help. From fund raising events to donation drives, everyone is doing their part. This is very encouraging to see. 

The gruesome images and footage I seen for the past few weeks prompted me to write this post. I felt sorry for my Japanese friends and at the same time, count myself lucky that I do not have to face the wrath of Mother Nature, at least not at this moment. 

Likewise, Joyce and the rest of the guys at Hobby Art Gallery were deeply affected by what they seen in the news. Hence, she decided to chip in to help too. 

Hobby Art Gallery has targeted to raise S$10,000.00 as relief fund. To reach that target, they are:-

1. Pledging 10% of their sales proceed to the fund;

2. Full amount for the sale of completed model kits donated by various modelers; 

3. Full amount of sale of limited models. 

More details are on their Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/HobbyArtGallery

Not to be outdone, I have given HAG the following works to raise funds.  

Kampfer Kanji 

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Another lesson I learnt as a Father

You know when it comes to parenting, it is a challenge everyday. Your children are a reflection of you when you are young, lol. 

Ever since my daughter arrived, a lot of attention was diverted from my son to her. I wouldn't be surprised if he feels neglected. I feel guilty when I think of that. But I am glad that he did not show any jealousy but even showers little Ashley with affection. 

(Who wouldn't? Look at that smiley face, ooo...)

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The Mother's Fury

When I first heard of an earthquake hitting Japan last Friday, I thought nothing of it. "That is to be expected" was my usual response. But when I watch the news and saw the tsunami being unleashed on unsuspecting folks, I was literally heart-broken. I never expect to see that much devastation. The news coverages were very disheartening. The way the waves swept the towns was terrifying. These look like scenes out of an apocalyptic film and how I wish it was. Everything seems so unreal.

I really feel for the victims and their families. And with no apparent reason, I fear for my own family. It was not  rational at all but that was how I felt. I mean anything can happen. Who knows when the Earth will go crazy again.

I hope our Japanese friends will recover soon and be strong for their loved ones. How I wish this was a dream...

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Gearing up...

This year is going to be an exciting year for me. I don't know why, but the local Gundam scene seems to be heating up nicely. More youngsters are becoming interested in Gunpla. This is a very good sign. The local distributor is doing a very good job creating awareness and now Gundams are so easily available compared to 10 years ago. I just attended the Gundam Unicorn episode 3 this afternoon and the response was pretty good. Even better than I expected. This is very encouraging.

And then the little "duel" with Dc23 will certainly push me up another notch. With him around, I probably have to start racking my brains for ideas! LOL. Just look at his last update, it gives you an idea how massive his final product will be. Phew...

Local competitions are more unpredictable now.I got people here constantly pushing the boundaries which keeps me on my toes every time. I'm loving it though.  I can recall someone saying that he will "defeat" my  Qubeley one day. Well, that's a good start. But I never stop at Qubeley and will progress and surpass even that work.

Now it's a good time to concentrate on building now. I was kinda of preoccupied the last few weeks. Some disputes to settle but I'm hitting a wall as some people can be pretty elusive. But I think it is a matter of time when our paths will cross and I look forward to it. You can call it the "BIG BANG" if you want.

Right now, I just concentrate on my next build and have fun.

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What's in for this hobby anyway?

Today, DC23 added this post that got me intrigued. This post hit me in more ways than one. In this hobby, you probably get your fair share of criticisms and praises. I take every comment seriously no matter how much I disagree with them. I think that is the only way to progress. But I always tell myself, irregardless of what comments people made, it is more important that I must satisfy myself first rather than meet other peoples' expectations. 

Over the years I have been treated to fantastic works from DC23, FichtenFoo, Zluca, Matt Tomczek and many  good modelers. Although their works are very different in execution and presentation, they all have (in my opinion) three things in common, namely STYLE, FLAIR and most importantly, PASSION.  It could be a heavily weathered mecha or a clean look Gundam or something totally unexpected,  they all have their signatures written all over. Hence, style and flair is what I prefer. 

While a good presentation is necessary to accompany the model kit, I always stressed that one should get the basics right first. Yes, you can come up with the best concept, large scale base, fantastic pose, story, plot and more. But if I spot your seam lines or some elementary mistakes, you are out, period (Ok, I am guilty of that  sometimes LOL). 

Not long ago, DC23 suggested we have a build-off since we are planning to build the same kit, master grade The-O. I resisted initially because he wanted to build The O II Hauer which is totally out of my league! I love my mecha clean and modified, DC23 likes his bulked up and weathered. However, I gave it some thought and suggested to him it would be better that each of us come out with our own interpretations of the O (My weathering sucks). Now, we have a clash of styles and execution which makes an interesting watch. No doubt there will be two different camps at "war", weathered vs clean. But I think it is beneficial for younger/ new modelers when DC23 and Toymaker "crossed swords". I am pretty sure we all will learn something from this. 

And a final note. The best reward I get out of this hobby is not the recognition or awards but the friends (local and overseas) I made along the way. That to me is the best reward any hobby can offer. 

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The day I lost a good "brother"

It's Chinese New Year. Everyone is in joyous mood and I just came back to work after a good break. Everything went well at work until my mobile phone rang. I picked up the call and it was my wife. She asked," Still remember this guy whom you talk to at the void deck every now and then?" "oh yes!" I replied. "Well, he passed away yesterday..." Came the reply. The whole word just stood still. I paused and started to absorb what I just heard. Shock and utter disbelief followed.

Xinwen (as I called him) lives in my neighborhood. We were in the same primary school and have been living in the same block till I moved out. We bumped into each other every now and then and chat a bit. He was always ready to listen to my problems. He was like a brother to me and I enjoy talking to him. He is well-liked by others and even my wife, who do not know him personally, says that he is One Mr Nice Guy. That one I cannot disputed. He is probably the most good-natured person I will ever met. 

The whole afternoon I was too stunned to work. I felt like I have just lost a family member. I was on the verge of tears more than once but I held back or did I?. Why would he go so early at the age of 32? He had so much promise, so much to work for.  I ask myself, "why do good folks seemed to go faster?" I just don't understand. I wanted to attend the wake but some said it is not good for me as it is Chinese New Year. But I will have nothing of that. This is my last chance to pay my respects  to this "big brother" I admired so much.

Over there, I couldn't bring myself to look into the casket but I did. He look so different and how I hope it was not him at all. I felt sad for his siblings, and his parents especially. I am at a loss of words and don't even know how to console his family members when I myself cannot be consoled. "LIFE is so unfair..." 

"Boon, just want to tell you that you have touched my heart in more ways than one and how I wish we could grow old together and sit down at the void deck to chat about old times but it was not meant to be. Well, we will definitely meet again and until then, you have a good rest, bro." 

      

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This Chinese New Year

Another new year, but the same old story. Everyone is in festive mood and the kids are especially happy. I used to be excited about Chinese New Year. But somehow, things changed when mum left us. This afternoon, I went to the temple to pay my respects. As I stood to pray, sweet memories came flooding back. I told her how much I miss her. And if there is ever a chance that we are reunited, please do not leave us again. 

The day you left, a part of me died with you;

The world seems so cold and harsh without you;

I have lost my drive, direction and purpose;

I longed to hear your voice and see your smile again; 

I can think of you but memories are intangible and they fade with time;

I am trapped in this vicious cycle of despair and sadness with no end in sight;

If not for my wife and kids, I fear for the worst;

I know that there are people out there who are worse off but that doesn't make the pain any lesser;

I will go on...

"If you take someone for granted, now is the time to reflect. Because if he or she is gone, you will take a lifetime to regret." Go on, tell that person how much you love her/him and grateful for everything he or she did. Say what you mean, it must come from the bottom of your heart. 


Go on, you can do it... 

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