A little comfort..

Today is a special day. No, it has nothing to do with the results of the General Election in my country. It's even more important than that. It's Mother's day.

Not that I can celebrate this day with her, for she took permanent leave to rest. But today and for many years to come, I will wish her Happy Mothers' Day.

"I owe her" and I can't repay her. There is nothing much  I can do but to accept it. "That's life". Yes, it's harsh, cold and cruel. But, "That's life".

I was brought back to 1990, I was eleven. It was about noon and school has finally finished. I was playing with a few friends when we got into an argument over some childish reasons. But one of them decided to throw an insult about my mum.

I went berserk. I could have beat that jerk to pulp if I could. But before anything could happen, someone pulled me away almost immediately. I looked up irritated and she was looking down at me. "There you go again." I had none of it. I started spewing vulgarities at that bunch as she pulled me towards the gate. 

On the way back, I keep asking her why she pulled me away or else I could have trash them. To which she asked, "didn't you just scold their mums as well?" That answer stumped me for awhile. "They started it first, I was trying to protect you.." 

"That is no excuse for you to go insulting other people's mothers, that makes you no different from them." 

"Well, I...I...." (kept quiet) 

It was a valuable lesson. My temper has always been my bane. It usually takes me less than a split second to erupt like a volcano. Most of my friends knows it, some even dreads it. And my mum has been by my side "cooling" me down all these years. Well, I am the chip of the old block. 

Today, I held on to the carnation I bought for her specially. I seldom buy her flowers because I thought they were pointless but not anymore. I told her I miss her and miss her a lot. I thanked her for standing by me all these years and sacrificing herself for the family. "Because of  you, I am forever in debt."   

"After my job is done, I will find you whatever it takes,where ever it takes me, no matter how long, I will FIND you." I promise her that today. 

To all you guys out there, if you have not, do it today. Tell your mum you love her, and thank her for all that she has done. I did not get to but at least you guys have a chance...