Friday, March 25, 2011

Another lesson I learnt as a Father

You know when it comes to parenting, it is a challenge everyday. Your children are a reflection of you when you are young, lol. 

Ever since my daughter arrived, a lot of attention was diverted from my son to her. I wouldn't be surprised if he feels neglected. I feel guilty when I think of that. But I am glad that he did not show any jealousy but even showers little Ashley with affection. 
(Who wouldn't? Look at that smiley face, ooo...)

So to reward him, I decided to bring him to Universal Studio during the school holidays. He was naturally thrilled of course. 

The day started fine. Before going there, my wife and I brought him to the a school dentist for a check and he needed to fill up some cavities. However, he was afraid of the dental drill and no matter how we coax him, he just wouldn't budge. I got pissed off and that set the tone for the day... 

We reached there about noon and everything was fine until he took the first ride. It was a "Shriek" roller-coaster that looks pretty harmless but my wife said it was very "deceptive". 

My son freaked out a bit. He became wary of other rides and threw tantrums. My anger was simmering but I was trying (in vain) to keep it under control. The rowdy crowd did not help either. 

So I did not get to try most of the rides and by then, I insisted on going home. But he wanted to queue for some kiddie rides and threw even more tantrums. 

I queued for an hour for that 5 minutes ride and was cursing and swearing in the sweltering heat. We finally get out of the place and I thought my anger had subsided. 

However, while coming down the escalator, his crocs got jammed and the escalator chewed one and spit it back out. It was reduced to shreds! At that point of time, I just snapped. I gave him a really tight slap on his face in front of everyone. I have warned him umpteen times to stand still while using the escalator but it fell on deaf ears. He cried in his quiet ways but I was too furious to care. 

That night, I reflected on my actions. I know I was wrong, utterly wrong. What was my purpose of this trip? To show my son I care but I cannot even queue up with him for a ride. Most kids dread those trips to the dentist, my son is no exception. Why am I so angry about? I know that he is extremely restless and was I more concerned about making a fool of myself in public or the safety of my son? I am impatient, short-tempered and volatile. Sometimes, I can be like a monster when anger rears its ugly head... 

Instead of a day of promised fun and laughter, I screwed up, BIG TIME. I think my mum would be scolding me up there, would have gifted me a bolt of lightning if she could...  This time I failed and failed miserably. 

Well, the only consolation is that I realized my mistakes and will definitely make it up to him. I consider myself as a "Work-In-Progress" father and husband (I think I should vent my anger on another "bozo" instead). 

In front of me now is the next obstacle, I had promised my wife to teach him homework. Let's see who get strangled first LOL... 

And a final note.... NO MORE CROCS! Hell, those are escalator magnets!!! 

Kenny / ToyTroublemaker   



everybody learns something in every part of life. we just have to move with the flow.. glad that you have thought through about stuff!

爱之深,责之切.. I believe he will not remember the ride but the slap for next few year. We treat them the way that we want them to be, try to lower down yourself and think like him, an hour for 5min experiment is worth it, to them. Let's learn together, I'm not a good father yet still.

You're actually really lucky your son didn't lose part of his foot. Everybody: You have to teach your kids to step OVER the bottom/top of the escalator, where the steps merge.
You CAN lose your toes.
Also, there's usually an emergency stop button along the side. Look for it when you get on.

Yeah, parenthood is difficult man. I have 3 no, and had to distribute the love amongst all of them. My wife is the disciplinarian though, I am just the jolly fat daddy. I do lose my temper sometimes, but just bolt it to strangers. ;)

Godluck buddy, it is a fun crazy ride until they are in their 20's. :D

Patience is the key when u have children. Children might be annoying sometimes, but children are always children. They need love, attention & care from us. Try to calm down before u lose control. I believe things would be better.

Kenny, how are you going to make it up to your son? I suggest apologising - yeah, he won't remember any of that day but he will remember the slap.

You have a lot of patience making gundams, and putting some of that to your kids would be great.

My parents was similar to you in a way, and I am not close to them, although there were attempts to close this gap. Too late, in my opinion. I wonder why I was slapped with no reason. So, it's ok to slap your son, but make sure he knows why he was slapped, but you also have to be right as well.

So, please don't leave it too late like my parents.

Good luck

Thanks for your comments guys.

No worries, I will do what is right. My son has never blame me for slapping him. In fact he understands why I do so. But boys will be boys. He will repeat again and again :)

Travis, my son was indeed very lucky and not once but three times! Which was why I was so angry after telling him repeatedly not to play on the escalator! Well, boys will be boys LOL...

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