Thoughts

Finally, my younger sister is getting married. And the banquet will be this Sunday. As this day approaches, my heart becomes heavier and heavier. My mother deserved to be there more than anyone. As a parent myself, I finally realised how much hardships our parents have to go through to bring us up. I am very very grateful for that. And nothing can make them more happy than to see their children starting new lives.

Ever since that day, I have never stop thinking of her. I go to sleep every night hoping that I could see her in my dreams. At times, I would wake up in the middle of the night and be utterly disappointed that she was gone. Childish? Maybe.... Well, there was once when I was in this bus sitting opposite an old lady. I got a glimpse of her hands which were wrinkled and pale, just like my mum's. Tears just flowed. How much have she suffered for me? For the family? I can never understand why she have to endure so much her whole life. Why is life so unfair to her? Why? I have no answer of course. I have resigned to the fact that not all things in life are equal and I have no complaints. I wanted to hit out at something but that is basically pointless.

Even though this may be absurd, I wish that she will be there this Sunday. Wherever she is, I hope that she will hear my prayers and come back to us one more time. I hope that she can see my sister getting married and be able to drink the tea she and her husband served.

I can't write further anymore. The more I write the more emotional I get. "Mum, can you see my tears now? Please come back for me, please...".

miss you.