Mother's day has always been a mixture of joy and sadness even since you left. They say time will heal everything. But I can tell you it doesn't. It only acts as an anesthetic, it numbs the pain, it makes you feel better. But when it comes, it rips you from the inside. the void that she left returns in an instance. The guilt, the disappointment and the despair. All at once.
It is so hard to move on. But I know I have to. Simply because I need to go on with life, time do not wait for anyone. There are people to love, to take care of and many things to accomplish.
I tell myself to be braver, to be stronger. But you know, I feel that you are your bravest and strongest when you have your mum by your side. That there is nothing to be afraid of, no adversary too formidable, no hurdle you can't cross.
I was typing this when this song has to be come up, Sam Smith's "Lay me Down". Well, it must be a coincidence cause it rained suddenly when the skies was clear.
I will take a minute to recover. And then, I will have to move again.
"Time may not heal the pain, but it brings me closer to the day I will meet you.
Happy Mother's Day, Mum...."