Friday, May 2, 2008

This May....

I was at the cake shop this afternoon buying some pastries. I noticed there were some promotion pamphlets and one in particular caught my attention. "Mother's day celebration". Sigh.... Mother's day has never been this significant to me. Every year I will try to bring my mom out for a meal. But I would not be able to do that anymore. Somehow I just felt I have not done enough for her. I picked up that phamplet and stared blankly at it. I was snapped out of my trance by the storekeeper, "sir, any cake you like for your mother?" I told her I wish to buy the most expensive cake they have but she would be able to see it. I just walked away.... It might have been a rude gesture but I was in no mood to explain myself.

Yes, I am still sad, my attachment to her is still as strong as the day I was born. Although I have my committments and work, I feel like I am just doing my time. Things are just, "different" without her. Life is not complete. I know that it it pretty silly, but I am still hoping she will come back to me one day...

A good friend of mine keeps thinking of inventing a Time Machine and go back in time to salvage a relationship; I laughed it off. Now, I sure hope he can pull that one off one day. Just for a chance for me to see her again. Please...

Losing your life ones is a very painful experience. You lost your bearings and have to learn to "walk" again. I sure hope I do not outlive my family. I would choose to go first, because I just can't bear to be alone again.

My wife has just asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I whispered to myself, "MUM".


I guess regret rules us both

A friend of mine, well, she doesn't see me as a friend anymore, but I still hold her close, once told me she would rather die than even say happy birthday to me

That time machine looks good right about now

Get a hold of yourself bro, your mom sure won't wish to see you like this.

Learn to let things go, you can't always dwell on the past. Look ahead & move forward even if its painful to leave the memories behind.

Spare a thought for the ones around who are still around. Good luck bro

Yeah, I will keep on going for my loved ones. Life still goes on. I guess the way I feel and behave is how I want to remember her and to keep her in my heart.

Thanks bro.

I have been reading your posts for years now but havent really commented on anything but its sad that you seem to be so sad lately cause I miss seeing all you gunpla works, they always inspire me xP. I know how you feel, my moms dead as well and ironically... my birhtday is may 11 which is also mothers day this year sigh... I know its hard... heck I still think bout it from time to time, you never really forget it but things do get better, its these moments in life that makes you stronger, hang in there man, I look foward to seeing future works from you ;)

Thanks my friend, sad as I am, I am still doing gunpla although progress is a bit slow for now. I'm preparing something for the up-coming Gundam OO contest but not too sure whether I can make it in time. Stay tuned...

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