Zaku Warriors WIP [SD]

Well, rather than being demoralized about my situation, I thought I could afford myself some form of a distraction.

And I just can't but helped myself to the three SD Zaku Warriors! Building super-deformed mechas offers me a "break" from all those heavy modding and construction. This will certainly prepared me for one major project I'm planning to do pretty soon!

This time, I'm doing some minor modifications and detailings and most probably, a simple display base.

I begin by hollowing out those vents and replacing them with pla-plates. Added details behind those vents too.

Using the hobby knife, I scrapped at the edges at an angle to make them looked sharper. Drilled out the "camera view" at the back of the head and added some details.

Drilled hole at the eye piece and Kotobukiya parts to create the "eye". Using the clear lenses from WAVE products and stick it to the stock stickers provided.


Sharpen the antenna.


I'm almost done with the heads with some minor touching up to do later.

Right to Left (shoulder joints) Lengthening of the shoulders.


(1) Normal with stubs
(2) Remove the stubs at the base
(3) Inserted Zaku Pipes from Kotobukiya.

Adding pla-plates to lengthen the lower torsos.

Lengthening the chest with pla-plates so that it is proportionate to the modified torsos.

Updated 19/02/2008 - 01:25 AM


The mid torso are separated into 2 parts for easiler painting.



Added pla-plates to improve on the proportion since I extended the torso in the first place.



A look at the "improved" mid section.





Carved out a opening (for adding details) at the sides of both feet.

I have removed the spikes and replaced them with Kotobukiya parts. The edges of the shields were scored with a art knife for a sleeker look. And finally gaps behind these shields were filled up with epoxy putty since they looked unsightly to me.

Updated 01/03/2008 - 11:15 AM

Filled up the hollows, it's always an ugly sight for most SDs.









Getting ready for priming, awful lot of stuff.

Updated 16/03/2008 - 10:55 PM

I have painted the main colours for the zakus and will proceed to do the smaller parts soon. Some previews.....

Updated 26/03/2008 - 11:40 PM

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Alone

Just came back from a jog after a long break from physical activities. It was suppose to be a "take it easy" jog to get into the groove again. But it was anything but easy. As I began to struggle for air barely 300m into the run, it hit me, the feeling of augish. Guilt and remorse took over. I can't believe it! Everytime I am alone this has to happen. On a subconcious level, I preoccupied myself with so much things just to block out the loss of my dear mum. But I guess it just make matter worse by bottling up all those sorrow and guilt. I am used to sheding tears now although I don't do it in openly...

I'm glad that I have this blog, otherwise I don't know who I can turn to....

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Another set back?

Just came back from another medical review. My platelet count went up to 37000! Cause for celebrations? Not so, the doctor pointed out to me that with the amount of medication I'm taking, my platelet level is going up too slow; which is a cause for concern. Well, back to square one, I guess.

The doctor then explained to me alternative medications that may be used to treat my condition. However, the side effects.... urghhh...(I think there is no need for me to elaborate further) He's actually reluctant to let me take those medication anyway considering that I'm only 30.

So, the next better option is Splenectomy, removal of the spleen. It is an organ that creates lymphocytes for the destruction and recycling of old red-blood cells. I am wondering can I do without it. The doctor recommended that I go for this operation and to be frank, I do not really have a choice. Chances of full remission is about 60% and some still need a combination therapy to maintain a stable platelet count. It sounds like a gamble to me...

Well, I have scheduled for a appointment with the surgeon to discuss on the procedures and complications I may suffer later in life and then weigh my options carefully. A second opinion seems to be a viable option now. How things changes in two weeks! I really need to consider this very thoroughly.....

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Coming home

Just went back to work and things seem to be back to normal. I am trying to get back to my old routine and slowly get back to life as it is.

At the end of the day, I stepped out of the office like a battered soldier. Tired and a bit restless, I decided to take a slow walk home to calm my frayed nerves.

And the trip back home was indeed a nostalgic one. As I walked, I came across paths that mum and I would used to take. Suddenly, these memories overwhelmed me. Tears began to flow.

As I walked past my old primary school, I got this feeling that time has stopped for me. Like I am once again a schoolboy, running home to savour mum's homecooked food..... Once again I am in her arms, feeling her warmth.



But reality is cruel, and painful too. No matter how many times I tell myself she not there anymore. I just cannot accept it.


I'm heading home....




She used to exercise along this path as I always take this path to work every morning. Sometimes, I really hope she was waiting for me at the end of that path....



I placed her tablet in this temple near my place. She did volunteer work there and I reckoned that she would be very happy to be there. I could visit her more often too.





My dad got her a massage chair to ease her discomfort. If only I could ease her pain..



My family. Forever..











Looking at these old photos again is a heart-wrenching experience.





Although I could not care for her ever again, I did the only thing I could do, gave her the joy of being a grandma.... (I miss you, mum).

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Timely review

After been so messed up at work and constantly plagued by other niggling problems for like eternity, I was "gifted" with a timely "vacation" (No thanks to my illness of course!).

Well, with nothing esle to do for the past three weeks, I started to re-evaluate my life and priorities. It's quite startling how much I have under-achieved. I have thought of a great deal of things. And having a blog really helps since I can write these down and refer to them later. It sort of "tidy" up my problems and gives me a clearer picture/perspective at the same time.

1.Family Life

If only life is so simple. Get married, have children and make sure they grow up to be able to take care of themselves before you call it a day. It makes me wonder have I, as a parent, been doing my part in this family. With my job and hobby, I inevitably restricted the time to bond with my son. And I've already noticed a invisible wedge that has formed between us. Gosh! there was once I sent him crying for no apparent reason. I was actually explaining to him in a non-threatening manner to stop watching the TV at such close proximity. That was a wake-up call for me! I'm planning to take him out to play more often and actually try to communicate with him, patience is the key! I wanted to be a friend to him rather than cold and cranky old man later (hahaha). Just like my DAD (giggles)!

My wife may jolly be the next best thing that has ever happened to me. She's tremendously patient and kind to me and very understanding. She gives my hobby her full support. Which was probably why I was able to progress so much over the years. And most importantly, she is not going to maul me over my huge collection of Gundams. And thanks to her, I was able to do gunpla without my son messing with tools and stuff.

And that is why I am a selfish person. I am so concerned about my own interests, I have sort of "neglected" her. I am very appreciative of the things she has sacrificed for my sake. Sometimes it's only a matter of showing what matters most, my feelings to her. Communication and mutual trust are necessary to maintain a healthy marriage life. Something that I cannot take for granted.

2.Health

Until today, I am still wondering how the heck this Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura (ITP) got me? I have been reasonably fit for 29 years of my life, exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Or have I?

Come to think of it, I'm drinking less than two glasses of water a day, I slept on the average four hours a day, I wasn't really watching my diet either. And I tend to worry incessantly over small issues, especially at work. A friend once commented that with my lifestyle, I could hit the wall one day. I guess this is it. My mum used to nag me on my unhealthy lifestyle (how I miss her nagging now) but I simply ignored her. Now, things got a lot worse when she passed on. Guilt ridden and losing a purpose for life all of a sudden, I went through hell for the past four months. Fighting back tears has become a daily routine to me. My body has taken quite a beating. I brought this upon myself I guess. Just can't help feeling down...

Because of my condition, I have no idea what's in store for me. I can only hope for the best. "Can I still lead a normal life?","Can I even live past 50?" Those questions are toying with my mind for quite awhile now. I'm pretty worried but I have to put up a brave front in front of my family... Life could really turn up the heat on me but it doesn't mean the end of the road, not yet at least.

By chance, I came across a book called "Mindpower" by Vernon Coleman. It was a very interesting read! Perhaps the mind is a more powerful tool than we could ever imagine. I have already benefited from some of the articles in it. This book sort of clear the doubts that has been clouding my mind for so long. I'm feeling better mentally and spiritually. Now I want to take back my health too!

3. Career

Still in my first job since I 'ORD'. That's almost seven years now at one place. My friends are stumped why I haven't moved on. I could be much better off. I think that I'm simply too settled in my comfort zone. I'm not looking forward to the challenges of an new environment, collegues and work systems. Or rather I resist "change" (like most Tauruses). But as time goes by, I realised that change may be necessary to a better future. I would probably need to attain qualifications to "value-add" myself first. Darn! I have been putting that off for so many years. I'm gonna do something about it this year. At least, I can look forward to provide more for my family soon...

4.Interests

To me, nothing is more enjoyable than Gunpla. Although I am delighted when one kit is completed, it is the built-up leading to the finished product that I truely enjoy. Nothing beats the feeling of achievement after effort, time and sweat are put in, period.

And thanks to Blogger, I am able to share my works with fellow modellers. At the same time, advices, criticisms and lots of kind comments on my works motivate me to strive for newer methods and better techniques. I have made quite a number of friends too!

I have been thinking on how to make my blog more comprehensive and informative to young modellers as well as the seasoned pros. One suggestion which was thrown to me was having WIP (Work-In-Progress) pictures for my finished products. Another would be posting tutorials and tips on basic/advanced techniques.

I do agree on the above and plan to have WIP shots of my finished kits in the future. Tutorials may come later too. I do not have any "special" skills or secrets to reveal as good decent models can be achieved with hard work and perservance. That's my philosophy.

Progressively, I'm looking at a mini revamp of this blog in terms of its contents and hopefully more visitors could benefit from it later.

Oh well, that sort of does it. I am remaining focused and keeping my fingers crossed that things will eventually resolved by themselves. Watch this column people!

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Long road to recovery

Just went for my first consultation yesterday since discharge and test results still show a low blood platelet count of 16,000 which was previously 22,000, gulp..... It seems like the only thing effective about the steroids are the side effects. The doctor explaind to me the mid and long-term effects that I may suffer and I was thinking whether it was worth the trouble.

I am beginning to feel aches and pains on my legs, shoulders and back. I felt like a 70 year old man at times. Mood swings are getting frequent too although my wife notices them rather than myself. An increased appetite has made me stock up my fridge and cupboards with all sorts of food, phew....

And the bruises/marks have not faded much since day one. I keep getting stares everywhere I go. They must be thinking that I was run over by something(giggle).

[Arms are the worst hit, major brusies!]

[Got a bruise here because I was crossing my leg!!!]

[No, it's not a shadow.]

I came across a few forums while searching for information on my condition and was particularly surprised that this condition is not exactly uncommon. Someone even exclaimed that his blood platelet level has dropped to ZERO! Wonder what's going on with our bodies nowadays.....

Well, whatever it is, I hope all will be fine at my next scheduled appointment. Otherwise, I'm in for more tests (sweat).

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THE CHECK POINT OF MY LIFE

I just got this feeling 2008 will not be a good year for me. I went for my yearly In-Camp-Training and barely into the second week, I got diagnosed with Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura (ITP). It is the condition of having a low platelet count of no known cause. Most causes appear to be related to antibodies against platelets. In other words, my own immune system is destroying or acting against my blood platelets.

On 21st January 2008, huge ugly bruises began appearing on various parts of my body and I got really worried since I rarely have them. So I went to consult my Medical Officer. I was immediately referred to Tan Tock Seng Hospital for further tests. As it turned out, my blood platelet count has dropped to a dangerous level of 3,000. Usually, ITP patients suffer from; bruising, nosebleeds and bleeding gums if the platelet count is below 20,000, as compared to a normal range of 150,000–400,000. You could imagine the doctor was quite frantical at that moment.

He told me that intracerebral hemorrhage or other internal bleeding are the possible complications of this disease. But it is unlikely for patients with the platelets count above 20,000. Well, I got 3,000.

Immediately I was wheeled to the ward and given strict orders not to leave the bed. Then came a barrage of blood tests and whatever tests the doctors could think of. They rule out dengue, HIV (yes HIV) and other diseases before confirming ITP. It was really unfortunate for me to get such a diease and it seems to me my life will be changed in more ways than one after this.

I have been lying there thinking what really happened, "how the heck did I ended up like this?", "Was it my diet, stress from work or what?" I could not think of an answer. I felt that life is so unfair to me. I could barely get over the passing of my mum, why struck me with another thunderbolt? Was I such an ass?

My blood platelet count was flunctuating like the stock market for the next few days. But it finally came up to about 22000 after numerous platelet transfusions and steroid treatments (not to mention the side effects to follow later, sigh....). And I literally begged the doctors to discharge me even though they were looking at a more acceptable number in 30,000. I just could not stand it anymore. I could not bathe, brush my teeth and have to use the urinal from bed, urghhh!!

But I guess it wasn't all that bad, friends and relatives came to visit me and made me realised they are always there for me. I was really comforted. I have never realised that just a simple visit could be such a powerful motivation for me to carry on. These are the friends I can never forsake! My dad and sister were worried and I prayed that I could get out of there as soon as I could.

Thus, with absolutely nothing to do, I began to reflect on my whole life. How have I fare in my career, marriage, well being and family. It suddenly dawned on me that I was always heading towards disaster. I was too busy to learn to relax, too passive when I need to stand for myself, financially drained because of my hobby and family expenses, stressed out by work and emotionly drained because of my mum. I just could not handled all this at one go. I just could not.

Hence, I have decided to take my foot off the pedel for awhile. I'm going to work and not bring my worries home from there. I'm going to wise up in regards to all my expenditure. I'm going to learn to let go of my mum. I have to learn to open that mouth of mine. And I comtemplating giving up this hobby of mine which may have been a chore rather than passion to me now (not to mention financially drained part). I could certainly use the money and invest for my son's future. Yeah, that sounds more sensible.

For now, I taking things one at a time. I suspected that I have a long road to recovery. And I'm pretty sure my platelet level will almost never certainly go up to 150,000. Well, there goes my weekly basketball game!

I sincerely thank those who came to comfort me during this difficult time and I will never forget your kindness nor your graciousness towards me. Kudos guys!

My journey continues.....

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Duel Gundam [SD]

Finally completed this little fellow. This is my first ever SD Gundam and I am quite satisfied with the final product although there are some areas I need to work on. As usual I guess.....

One reason why I only produce one SD after so many years is that I hold the impression that it is more tedious than the other scales. Well I'm right, and wrong as well. The parts may be difficult to mask, but it hones my patience and attention to details even more. It may sound weird, but I required more planning when doing SDs compared to the other scales! hahaha...

Finishing this one is especially satisfying to me since I have failed to even complete one after so many attempts!

I have choosen to fashion this SD Duel to a NG 1/100 version I did back in 2006. I thought it is something cool to have a SD version of your previous work.

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SD Duel Gundam (WIP)

The base is almost done and I'm planning to have it primed and painted tomorrow.

As this is my first painted SD kit, I would not say it is nicely done. A few blemishes here and there but hopefully, these will be elminated for my future SD projects.

I'm beginning to fall in love with the SDs as they are oh so cute!

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SD Duel Gundam

While fiddling with the Gundam Exia, I just could not resist the temptation of painting this little SD. I have a 1/100 Duel Gundam [NG] on display and I thought that it would be cool to have another in SD format.

SDs are generally easy to do except for the masking. It's tedious as some parts are pretty tiny and sometimes hand painting would be the easier option.

Oh man! This is sooooo cute!

My mini maintenance set-up

1/100 Duel [NG]

I'm planning to have this done by the end of this week and hopefully resume on the Group Build project.

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Gundam Exodus Exia (Plamo Challenge)

Recently I was invited to participate in a very special Build Group organized by the people at PLAMO. I do believe this is the first of its kind here. There are a total of eight participants including myself:-

• Erix 93, Whitebase, G-net from Malaysia,
• Izakku81 and Pazu from Singapore
• Eday from Hong Kong
• Nath_1977 from Philippines
  
  
  

Fantastic modellers in their own rights, I would expect nothing less from them. It is definitely both exciting and intriguing to see what type of variations they can do!

With GN-001 Gundam Exia [NG] as the base kit, members are required to modify, detail, scratch-build, kit-bash or whatever they can think of. Having seen some WIPs from Erix 93 and Whitebase, I am pretty sure that this Build Group [BG] will be beneficial to many. I have already learnt something new!

Personally, I'm pretty excited about this whole thing since it is not everyday that you get to have a "friendly" with these folks. It is also a great opportunity for me to learn and try new techniques.

I have assembled the Exia and was quite impressed by the kit although it's not MG. However, some parts are rather flimsy and makes posing difficult. That is something I need to look into soon. The major joints look good but I thought something could be done to the waist and shoulder joints. Articulation are reasonably good.

The detailings on this kit are remarkable too! I thought Bandai has done a good job here. It leaves very little room for me to work on. And I really need to do something about those rubbery parts!

Head: Very unique design



Body: The same goes for the body, not your usual Gundam design...

Rubber parts!!! I hate those!

Legs: MG-ized?

I have spent some time looking everywhere for inspirations but the Exia seems to be a tough nut to crack. I do recall one episode titled "Seven Sword" or "七剑" and kinda like the sound of it. I could re-create seven blades to pack more punch and "up" its coolness.

I am a big fan of the Gundam Unicorn and can't help myself but to siphon some ideas from it.

Some preliminary ideas/ concepts of my entry:-

1. Two modes, the "Exodus" Mode and "Exile" Mode
2. Exodus Mode - Normal mode with seven detachable blades to be used separately.
3. Exile Mode - Berseak mode with one long sword as main weapon (by combining all seven blades).
4. The Exia in "Exile" Mode will look bigger in size just like the Unicorn Gundam in Destroyer Mode.

Some of the ideas seems like a tall order to me. But since I'm still in the conceptual stage, any ideas goes! I will slowly weigh my options for the next few weeks and try to do something as close as I can to my ideal version.

I have already bought myself another box of the Gundam Exia so that I could attempt the two different modes and will post once I have some decent updates. Watch this space.

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Final Goodbye

Time flies..... It has been more than a month since my mum left me. Sad as I am, I reckoned that it's about time to move on. I thrust myself back into work and tried to return to normalcy. I was raring to go. And true enough, I was able to repress those feelings, or so I thought. As soon as I slowed down, I was suddenly swept by the sense of helplessness. The whole thing just engulfed me with no mercy. I simply "spaced out" Recovery was harder than I expected. I'm still shedding tears. Was I so close to my mum? Then why am I so depressed? Some said that time will numb the pain, but it seems to be getting unbearable for me each passing day.

I keep telling myself there are people younger than me who are in more tragic circumstances and they learnt to pick themselves up. Why can't I? Well I believe I can. But I grief differently too. I will always remember all of her, her kindness, her devotion to us, her selflessness, her cooking! (Yes! I'm really gonna miss her home cooked food....) There is absolutely no doubt she is forever in my heart until the day mine stops.

How I hope that I am like those high achievers, high grades, successful careers, how proud my mum would be of me. Well, I am nothing like that. Or rather far from it! Sometimes I'm really looked down on myself. Would my mum be? Well... I got my answer. Her friends told me at the wake that she was very proud of me, that I have a stable career, a house of my own and given her a cute grandson, what more could she ask for? I was really really happy for her and for myself. Is it possible that I have done something right for once?

As much as I want to see her now, I know it's just not my time yet. I have to shift my focus now to my family and my father. I have to see to it that my son grow up to be a fine young man. I'm going teach him all the things mum taught me. I'll see to it that he will get the best of everything I could afford. I will fight on. I will hang in there for just a little longer.... I will give him all the love I have. Because I know mum is watching....

And when the time finally comes, I will be able to tell her that I have never ever let her down.

"Will you be waiting at the RAINBOW BRIDGE for me when my time is up, MUM?"

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